Category Archives: Spiritual Life Stories

F*%k living by default…

Why is there so much fear in following your heart???

Your heart wasn’t made to follow the rules or live up to the expectations of society. It is there to guide you to your true passion, to keep you on track of the life you were meant to be living and the lessons you are here to learn.
So why do we ignore it? Why are we so scared?
Because for most of us, it means going against everything we’ve been taught. One job, one partner, 2 kids and a dog right?
But what if our journey is more complex then that?

How long are you going to dismiss what your heart is longing for? Are you going to choose love or fear because you can’t have both. Sorry but that’s the truth of it. Who do you think you’re going to hurt or disappoint? I’ll tell you who, YOU! You are the only one who will look back with regret and wonder why didn’t I listen. What would life look like if I had only followed my heart.

If we can’t trust our heart, which only has the best intentions for us who can we trust? Do you honestly believe you trust others and think they only have your best intentions in mind without their own agenda or limiting beliefs contributing to their advice. Ok, maybe that was a little harsh. Yes I know they want the best for you but their ideas just might be jaded.

Really look around though. How many people in your life do you have that can separate themselves from their past and beliefs, who are more spiritually aware to be able to help guide you to your hearts calling. They do exist and hopefully you have a least one.

In reality though we all bring our own shit to the table so to say and yes we all want our loved ones to be happy. Can we do that without our own judgements and fears getting in the way? Its hard sometimes to let go of the expectations we had for ourselves and our lives never mind our expectations we had about others.

Don’t live in regret wondering what would have been. Don’t live your life by default and by someone else’s rules. What’s good for them may not be what’s best for you. Listen, jump and have faith that your heart knows best. When fear enters and trust me it will, close your eyes and place your hand on your heart. Listen to the beautiful words it speaks to you and allow the love to consume you, all of you. The more you allow the less room fear has to live.

Imagine what the world would be like if we followed our hearts.

Until next time,

Much love!

And then….I let go.

As I look back on my life, I realize everything I have gone through has made me who I am today. Even the moments when I thought life couldn’t get any worse. The times when I thought, how did I get here, how did I allow my life to become this…whatever this was. How the hell did I end up here??? This is not what I thought my life would look like, not what I had planned. Didn’t I deserve more then this? But I kept perpetuating the same cycles of self destruction and expecting different results. That has to be the definition of crazy right! I wanted to forgive all the people I blamed for getting me here and can I tell you it was a long list. But that was part of the problem…blame. I sure as hell did not want to have any responsibility for where I had ended up or how I felt. When you’re hurting, how often do you say ” what is my part it this? “. Well I learned to start asking. It didn’t mean I condoned others negative behaviour but that everything is co-created so I must play apart in everything I experience. So I had to start to forgive myself first. Then I had to realize what I was allowing in my life and how I was allowing others to treat me. If I didn’t like it, it came down to I didn’t believe I deserved any better and that’s what allowed the negative in. That part in itself became easy for me. The hard part, changing the belief that I actually DID deserve more then I had ever offered myself. It can feel like a constant struggle, reminding myself that my worthiness does not depend on the thoughts or feelings of others and if I am not living the life I truly want, I am really just scared. We all live in fear of something. Letting go of the past, moving toward a future we desire, relationships, jobs or lack there of. These are the moments I get quiet. I close my eyes and breathe. I look for the stillness within me that holds the power of the whole Universe. I recognize the fear and love it anyways ( and no I am not perfect at this but my fingers are crossed that one day I will be ). I sit with myself knowing I am never really alone and I pray. Not at the side of a bed on my knees kind of praying ( that just isn’t me ) but I pray within myself. Finding that internal light, the light I was created from. The light that connects me to all things. I ask that light for help. And then….I let go. Let go of the expectation of having all the answers all the time, let go of what I think my life should look like and let go of the fear of being the person I really came here to be. In this moment, take a deep breath, close your eyes and be still. Let the silence surround you, let it encompass you, let it move through you. Find that light even if it is just a tiny flicker somewhere inside you.  Imagine that it is growing, filling up your whole body.  Then let it go beyond you, out into the Universe.

That is what you really are.  Pure love, pure light, you are everything.

Until next time,

Much Love

Where does all the love go???

As I have spoken to many women over the years, I hear the same things over and over again. I feel inadequate, undervalued, unloved, unappreciated, miss understood and unimportant…and my heart breaks.
Where does all of our love go? We give it all away, that’s where.
Somewhere down the line we were told to put everything and everyone else before ourselves. So what’s left??? Absolutely nothing, that’s what.
One of the first things I had to learn on my journey was I had to love myself first. Ya right! But I have a partner, I have kids and what about my friends and family?? And isn’t this my partners job anyway? Isn’t he suppose to love me enough to fix me, make me feel whole, aren’t my kids suppose to fill that void longing within me? Isn’t someone suppose to COMPLETE ME??
No, actually that’s my job. No material object or person will ever complete me or make me feel that kind of love that can only be found beyond the depths of my body, burning like a fire somewhere deep inside my soul. So my next question was, where the hell do I find it?
There are not enough hours in the day to explore my soul, get quiet and listen for the still voice that is going to tell me where that love is…right? And just by chance, if I actually get to hear it then what? How do I know if I am really feeling the love and what if I do, then I loose the connection?
I get it. No one said this would be easy, at least not to me. But I promise it’s there, just waiting for you. Loving you even when you don’t feel it, even when everything seems impossible. It’s that fire within you, buried deep under all the lies you’ve been told about how you should look and who you should be. She’s there, waiting patiently for you to find her. Your Soul. The love you were made from. The part of you, the real you, you came here to be. Where all of you strength and courage is.
She’s there. Get quiet and call out to her. It might take time but you’ll hear her, feel her gentle caress against your skin like the breeze on a warm summer day.
Then when you find her and fill yourself full with your own love you will be amazed how whole and fulfilled you feel.

Until next time,
Much Love

Hello all my Divine Feminine Ladies around the world

Welcome to my first post!!  I am so excited to start sharing with you the journeys of many women including myself of course, so that you may find comfort in your own life. As women we share many struggles. They might appear to be different but deep down, we are all the same.
Breaking wide open means exactly that. No holding back, getting naked emotionally and exposing our vulnerability. The true beauty and essence of who we are and the intoxicating love that is buried within us all.

Here’s to day one of getting naked!